Getting Real

Hey guys! I hope you’ve been doing alright because as of late I’ve been having this wave of sadness. I miss my friends so much. I was planning on going to the movies or something but I have nobody to go with because I don’t really have any friends here. As bad as I feel for saying this I wish I could just leave my family and finish senior year at my old high school. I just am not happy here as hard as I try I’m just not happy. The only thing that makes me happy is Supernatural. I really hope I can make enough money.

I am going to start my jobs sometime this week so I think blogging is going to get a bit harder to manage but I’m going to try my best. Ok so as bad as I feel for doing this I’m doing it out of desperation, I am going to link down below so if you want to donate to help me meet these boys that would be appreciated and if you can’t that’s 100% okay because I understand I just ask that you share my blog and get it around. Okay

Okay with that out of the way… I want to give you some insight as to what my life get’s to be like. I am 17. My family is considered poor. I am going to be a senior in high school next year. My family is a blend of everything. My parents took me home when I got out of the hospital as an infant and I was officially adopted when I was 7. I was homeschooled until fourth grade and in fifth grade my parents put me into a private Catholic school in our area. I thought that school was going to be amazing like I had heard about. Little did I know it was going to be awful. I was bullied fifth through eighth grade for pretty much everything. I was on the chubbier side of life, had awful acne, was incredibly shy, a little bit slow (because of my ADD), considered “weird”, and adopted. The kids were ruthless and so were some of the teachers. Every night I came home and cried and cried asking myself why I was so hated. In the end of my seventh grade year I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD. It explained a lot for me but it didn’t help with how I was treated by my peers and certain teachers.

After grade school, I moved on to high school and thought it was going to be the same song just a different tune. I was SO wrong. I made so many friends and had so much fun. For the first time in a while I was happy with my life. Freshman year I found out why no matter what I did I couldn’t lose weight and got put on medication to help me. Turns out I had an issue with my metabolism and thyroid and well it made me be able to gain weight but not lose it. After taking the medicine I lose 36 pounds in a year and boy was I happy then. Multiple injuries later I gained a lot of the weight back but oh well I was still happy with myself because I had so many amazing friends.

In November of 2016 my cousin calls us and asks us to watch her 2 year old daughter, Julee, for a little while so she can clean up her act. Let’s just say here we are 2 years later and she hasn’t done anything. Also in November of 2016 my adopted baby brother is born 6 weeks premature. My parents named him Benjamin Kenobi (yes like the Star Wars character my family is one of nerds) because what else would you name a child amiright? Well we come to find out Julee has multiple issues including, PTSD, Conduct Disorder, Emotional Disorder, and most likely Mild Autism and Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. She is a handful and everyday is a struggle. She is aggressive and very hyperactive. It is so hard seeing a precious little girl struggle with so much at such a young age and it feels as though no matter what we do it doesn’t help.

Fast forward a bit and about September 2017 my dad gets a job offer in Florida. We all tell him he’d be crazy not to take it even though we all know this means moving 1000 miles away from everyone we know in the middle of my junior year and finalizing my brothers adoption and seeking help for Julee. My dad ends up leaving for the job in the end of October and I plummeted into depression. My dad is my best friend so him leaving was really hard on me and on top of that my mom and I didn’t really get along for a little while. My grandparents end up moving in with us because they sold their house to come with us in Florida. Let’s just say my house was chaotic for a while. It was an argument everyday and me never being around and spending what little time I had left with my friends and in the school I had grown to love. I cried and cried and cried and went to the counselor about 3 days every week.

When it came to those 3 days with my friends I just bawled. My last day of school I lost it I cried on everyone and even people I didn’t talk to came up to me and hugged me and told me that if I was in town again to give them a call. Wow when I tell you that saying goodbye to my best friend of 8 years was worse than heartbreak I mean it. I cried for 8 hours straight. We of course facetimed as soon as my plane landed in Florida because we can’t be separated for more than a few hours. And as a “complete shock” to everyone I was really depressed once again. The next day I decide to do the only thing I know how to do when I’m depressed… Go on Netflix and start rewatching Supernatural and any other show I was into years ago that made me happy like Doctor Who and Torchwood and watching Star Wars and LaLa Land. Well I think you can guess but Supernatural was the one that helped the most.

Here we are a couple months later and wow I’m still depressed but I am getting better or at least trying to. I still miss my friends a lot and I want to go back so bad but the one thing I have that makes me happy is Supernatural and the thought of having a chance at meeting the boys. My friends still try and cheer me up and stuff but it’s obviously not the same.

Okay that’s all for now! Hope I didn’t depress you guys too much by telling you my life story. If you want to know more let me know in the comments or if you want to hear about my experience coming back to the Supernatural family let me know. Oh and just a question who is going to JaxCon because I’d like to meet some of you there and I’m thinking about making some Death to Normalcy shirts in honor of Misha and wanted to know if any of you would be interested. Okay thanks guys!!

Carry on my wayward sons/daughters!!

Go Fund Me : If you donate and this money is not touched by the time tickets are purchased I will be donating to Random Acts of Kindness.

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