It’s Been A While and It’s Been Rough….

Hey guys what’s up? I haven’t been on in a while please don’t hate me. Work and school have me stressed. I have really been struggling here to be happy me. It’s just not that easy to be happy when the one’s you want to be happy with are 1000 miles away. Anywho…. Work and school… GOOD CHUCK ABOVE IT IS SO MUCH. I mean I have Mondays at the one job where there aren’t any rules which is really chill and relaxed but the other days I’m over at my other job and it’s just a lot of stress they put onto you to carry the image of the company. I just don’t really feel like I fit the mold but I will give it my best shot. If I’m still not feeling it by September I may have to put in my notice. I just don’t know yet.

In the room next to me I can hear my mom watching the Wizard of Oz with my siblings and it’s bringing me back to a simpler time with my friends. Doing the Wizard of Oz with my old school is one of my favorite memories. It was so much fun. All we did was paint the stage and order food and goof around. We didn’t even know that it would be one of the last shows we would do together. I would give anything to go back and be with them. I’m getting all emotional because of senior year and I just want to be with my friends at my old school doing our shows and complaining about our teachers together.

As far as JAXCON goes I’m doing pretty well. By the end of this month I’m going to buy my Misha, Jared, and Jensen Photo Ops. I’ve decided to do them separately because I think if I was in a room with Jared and Jensen together I would actually pass out. Keep in mind I’m on the shorter side so being next to them I’m gonna look so tiny. I’m pretty sure I’m getting a Photo Op with Mark and Kim and maybe Ruth and Rob, Richard, and Matt. I’m still deciding. I know that I’m going to have to work my butt off in the summer but if it means I can meet the people who helped me make some online friends that keep me up when I’m down it’ll be worth it. I don’t think I’ve ever said this but thank you to my Supernatural family for being there for me when I’m upset.

Seeing tweets from Misha and Jensen make me laugh, the ones from Rachel make me feel a little less lonely, and the ones from Jared make me feel like it’s going to be alright in the end. That if I just keep moving forward with my head up high I’m going to be okay. I just wish I could do that as easily as I just said. Wow life’s hard. Well schools almost over and my grandma is adopting a puppy which will be fun. I’m currently drowning in work though. I kind of feel like this blog is my only outlet sometimes. I don’t have any friends to turn to about this deep stuff in Florida and I feel bad burdening my friends back home about it because it’s not like I can just go to their house or they can come here and we can hang out and they can do that thing they do where they cheer me up. Sometimes I don’t feel like I can turn to my own parents because they’re so stressed with the other kids and when I bring up the fact that I’m not happy they just get upset or angry. I just… I don’t know.

Oh well. Thanks for listening to my sad sob story for today.

Always Keep Fighting and if you ever need a friend just comment on this and I’ll reach out to you!!

Carry On My Fellow Wayward Sons and Daughters!!!

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